seven wants!

day four.

seven wants. '

1. more financial aid for school. going to a private american college is expensive, my conscience is killing me. my parents have never complaint a syllable about how expensive it is, and when i was making a tough decision to accept which offer, they told me to choose the best and not to worry about the tuition. and we are not rich people, my dad work for every cent we have. and i am grateful for all the good things and bad experiences in life. i am still feeling very remorseful for my cb spm results. one certificate that could change lives, i knew how important it was but i still screwed it up. damn that B for chinese.

2. i secretly want an ipod classic. because my iphone is running out of space. i cant even fit my entire itunes into it anymore. but i don dare to ask from my parents la, they're gonna killl me. xD

3. a new laptop batt. mine died. my laptop is a dell inspiron 1464! *wink wink*

4. a black chanel classic flap bag. i told my mom im gonna get this with my first few paychecks and she laughed at me for being naive. im gonna prove her wrong. rawrrr. =.=

5. classic louboutin pumps. seriously. 6.5 inches sky high stilletos, gonna rock them on my first interview! (hahah...... i wish.)

6. my own masseuse. i cant get enough of massages. i use to make weijin massage my palms in class and the first few time he was being sweet so he did it nicely and after that he rolls his eyes when i ask. AHAHAH. when i was younger, i told my mom im gonna marry a thai masseuse, my mom said i was stupid cause i should marry a rich guy who can afford to pay my masseuse. and i thought, OMFG MY MOM IS SO WISE. hahaahha.

7. rayban wayfarers. like the ones audrey hepburn wears. damn yeng la omg. and audrey hepburn is so so so so so pretty like the prettiest girl ever lived.

anyways, i know most of my seven wants are like high-fashion and vain, so what. atm im just pretty contented with my life and i can live without all the unnecessary luxuries but it doesnt mean that i cant have goals now can i. im gonna be a rich stylo architect that visits construction sites wearing sexy high waisted skirts and 6 inches-high pumps. AHAHAHAH.

A GIRL CAN DREAM NOW CAN SHE!?

eight fears!

day three!

eight fears.

1. unsaid gooodbyes. i would rather someone bid the hardest goodbyes and go through the worst heartbreak than leaving without saying a word. i would rather cry until i am dehydrated than be left behind wondering when,why,where. i want to feel included in the people and things someone's going miss.

2. no earphone. its really painful when i just wanna shut my ears from the sounds from my surroundings, and when i reach for my earphone, SHIT where is it. damnn. its worst than no battery weyh.

3. heart diseases / stroke. i dont want to die that way. seriously. im gonna get healthy. i promise.

4. big spaces. i dont like wide plain spaces. its kinda serious when i was younger, i would dream about being in a wide wide no boundary space and no matter how hard and fast i run the i wont see anything change around me, and i would scream and wake up with sweat all over, and then my mom would rush in and switch on the lights and asked what happened but i just couldnt make up a reasonable sentence, and i would be sobbing like a gay nyancat. but it got better, i still get the dream once in a while, and i am still kinda afraid of wide spaces, but as long as i can see things like trees, cars, buildings around i'd be fine. mild agoraphobia. LOL.

4. anything to happen to my parents. i know its very selfish to say this, but i would rather die before my parents because i know i won't be able to cope if they left.

5. birds. I HATE BIRDS. i hate the entire family of birds. i hate that they have beaks and i hate that they have claws (cooked claws in dimsum is nice!). im really scared of birds. especially, chickens, pigeons, ostriches, flamingos and hornbills. i always thought birds are evil. i got pecked by my aunt's chicken when i was younger, and it was traumatizing. and pigeons with their blood red eyes send chills down my spine! birds terrify me.

6. decomposing matters.

7. flight turbulence / aircrash / emergency landing. everytime my flight goes through some turbulence i'd think of crazy scenarios like a lightning striking a wing of the airplane and the airplane would lose balance and descend with high speed and we would have to evacuate the airplane by jumping into the sea and watch the plane explode.. .. .. think too much, yes i know. when i was in NY with my fam and we were inside the statue of liberty (no dont think dirty please) they suddenly rang the alarm and called for an emergency evacuation, apparently there was a rumor saying that someone planted a bomb in there, so they had to check. its crazy cause if someone really planted a bomb in there he would be godlike because the security is the tightest.. but no, she did not blow up and we did manage to get up.

8. forever alone.

nine loves!

day two!

nine loves.

1. i love my family. my mom and dad for giving me life and accept me for

who i turned out to be, although i might have grow up to be a girl far from their initial expectations. i love my parents because they have never pressured me into anything i didnt like, never told me i had to study hard and told me to get involved in school activities, never compared me to someone else's child, never compared among us siblings. i love my brothers, because i am in my most genuine form when im around them, we can talk like kids and yell at each others' faces like old goats, we can pick our noses and fart as loud as we like, and criticism is always constructive although it may be very hurtful.

my bro bribing us.

2. i love my house. every corner of it. i am thankful all of us have our own room

and our own bathrooms. i love our garden because my mom planted ad nurtured for each and every one of the plants. i love our fish pond gazebo, because its the best place to mahjong, drink wine and chitchat, steamboat or just simply lepak. i like our piano shaped porch, because it show one of my mom's many talents -- architectural designs. i like our ancient well, because i like making up ghost stories about it and freak the shit out of my friends. i like how our house has been standing here at this very spot somewhere in the middle of kuantan's busiest suburbs, but still maintains its serenity, for more than 40 years now.

3. i love wooden furniture & close-to-nature architecture. i love the smell of the huskiness of wood. i always wanted to build a log cabin-like bungalow with a tender blend of the nature and the modern world. i think wood gives off a cosy, warm aura. and my favorite log house kinda architecture is the ahwahnee in yosemite park. I LOVE IT OHMAIGAWD ITS THE NICEST PLACE I'VE EVER BEEN TO.

the ahwahnee. backed by the awesome view of yosemite.

the interior of the ahwahnee! loves.

rough idea what the interior of my log cabin gonna look like, get the cosy feeling?

another awesome architecture i've seen inspired by wooden planks and the nature is the centara hotel pattaya's lobby area. i was just there with the fam around a month ago and the place took my breathe away, it was a resort themed "the lost world", and it was super awesome.

it looks alot grander in real life..

4. i love hoarding. i have a thing with things from the past, its really hard for me to give them up especially if they have a nostalgic value to it. so im pretty much a hoarder, i have notes, exercise books, toys and alot of useless things. im not proud of it, but i love going through my old stuff once in a while.

5. i love romance comedy. anything to do with this genre, whether its a book, a movie, a cartoon, absolutely everything and anything with a good romantic ending where the hottie finally kisses the nottie. so im a very predictable person, i like authors like sophie kinsella, movies like "ten things i hate about you", "juno" and all those. my recent fav is "easy A".. i like sitcoms like "friends", "8 simple rules".. you get the idea. so what if all chick flicks having the same ending, i still like them, they make me feel like theres a chance for love for everybody. ahha.

6. i love body art. i think tattoos are a very expressive form of art, and there is actually so much more to tattoos than what people think of it. i used to spend all my nights watching miami ink (because i think ami is really cute). it was a pretty addictive show because they tell stories behind tattoos and many of the featured tatts have a good story behind it. but im not kind of tattoo freaks that would go all extreme with their "art", i worry too much, whether it'll discolor or go out of shape if i lose/gain weight. blar blar blar. i was once quite addicted to the pain piercing inflicted, i got all 8 of my ear piercings in 2 years. i've never tried a piercing with a needle before, but i'd love to try. i wanna get microdermal anchors, they're so sexy. ;D

7. i love travelling. theres so much to see out there, the more you are exposed to, the tinier you would realize you truly are. but, its an irony, i hate flying. sidenote//: my aunt belinda conquered mount everest! we're all very proud of her, but her expedition group has been stuck in the moutains due to bad weather for a week now, hopefully they'll get to come back sooon! sidenote #2//: i wanna get my diving licence, bungy jump in nz, swim with the jellyfish at palau, swim with the dolphins at mauritius.. and the list goes on.

swimming with dolphins at mauritius. yer, i wantt also!

8. i love driving. another irony, because i've been told i suck at driving and apparently im a very unsafe driver. but i still like driving, especially when i'm just cruising with no definite destination, swim car river as the cantonese put it. i dont know much about automobiles, so if my car broke down i won't know a shit about what caused it, i dont even know how exactly a car engine works, i just like driving it. lol.

9. i love modern technology and the internet. i think 90% of the things i know came from the internet, so im thankful i live in a generation where information comes so easily. the internet is the best thing that ever happened to our planet!!!!!

ten secrets!

okay. this is some kinda tag, but no one tagged me, i just decided to do it so that i'll get that sense of obligated-feeling towards my blog again. i used to feel so responsible to update my blog when i was younger..younger as in form 1-4, i was a VERYY active blogger back then, i edit my pictures and i put a watermark of my url and stuff, and i actually get like 200+ views a day back then, we had this blogosphere in our school back then, and i was one of the few popular bloggers (EH, im not bragging! ask anyone from SABS during my years and they would they told you they read sunriise.blogspot.com, well at the very least if they weren't a regular blogder they would have heard of my blog)

okay maybe i am exaggerating just a little bit. anw, blogder = blog + reader. its a xiaxue word.

i'll actually make today day 1!

ten secrets.

1. i can tell dirty jokes and make veryy bad remarks about people. i know its a bad thing, and yes, i do feel guilty after i say em out loud and after everybody gets a good laugh out of it, but im too used to being the clown in a group. i think its kinda of an innate thing i have, sometimes i tell the hardest-to-get jokes and only my brothers get them, and sometimes my big bro will come up with these brit-humor puns and only our siblings can get immediately, so maybe its genetic. HAHA.

2. i have an adult film collection. some people think its gross, i can only say that i have a peculiar hobby. all my close friends know about it, and we've talked about exchanging good pornos we've got in our collections (i've actually done it, the exchange i mean, with callie, but hers are too softcore, HHAHA) kaen ng promised me to let me go through his collection (he bragged a 2 paged collection) but he never did. pornography is a multibillion industry, and porn stars work very hard, so have some respect.

3. i only buy mandarin albums. and only from indie mandarin artists. i dont buy cds of mainstream singers. if i like the album, i can listen to it up to 10 times a day, and i can remember the lyrics to all the songs. if i dont like it, i'll keep it away and i'll never listen to it again. if i like only a few songs but not the entire album, i'll put it away too. i think its very important that all the tracks in an album brings out a coherent message and displays the artist's personality. thats the reason i dont like artists that dont write their own music, i feel like their just a narrator of other people's stories. im very particular with my music collection, and im secretly very proud of my taste in music.

4. my first tongue experience was in a cinema. okay enough said.

5. i still have my "sepatah sehari" notebook from primary school. i was the kid that went on stage every assembly to read out the idiom of the day. the reason i kept that notebook is not because i thought the idioms are meaningful, its because i wrote 2 pages full of the name of the guy i liked in the notebook. like spelling corrections, two pages. its kind of an IT thing back then. lool. and...i was stupid.

6. i think my first crush grew up to be a very unattractive guy. see how i avoided the word ugly? im a nice person. (hak hak hak in your face ugly boy! perasan until form4 still think i liked you)

7. i like spooning. WHY?! cannot isit. i like lah, its so nice.

8. yes, we did things in the school's store room back in form 5, but it wasnt as scandalous as you guys think. i know so many other couples who did MORE scandalous things in that store room, i've got details and names, wanna know? treat me yumcha first.

9. i only started cracking my knuckles in college. i used to think guys cracking knuckles is a major turn-off and its very bad for your joints (this is true scientifically la) but now, i cant help it, when you feel the little air bubble in your joint pop its like the most comfortable and relaxing feeling ever. im trying to stop, i really am.

10. i want to get braces again. my teeth are crooked again, and i really miss having a piece of metal in my mouth. ulcers and cuts are bitches but other than that braces are still cool.

done!

the reason behind all those confessions is because nobody reads my blog anymore! so im braver, haha.

ramblings.

beh tahan. i bitched about someone else's bitchiness. does that make me equally bitchy? HAHAA.

i think i should like, totally drop the "like"s in my talking sentences. like, seriously, i think they like, totally make me sound like, dumb or something. AHHAHA.

cousin ling and her mom, my aunt came over for chit chat and we bitched about baby new's mother, whom is now staying just next to them, about how she stormed into school and yelled at me for at least 15 minutes when i did nothing wrong back when i was in standard 5. still triggers the beast inside when i think of it now, i would tear her brain apart and give it to jennifer if i had claws and the invisibility cloak. ugly old thing.

i lied to mama about my SE phone. i really do miss it, theres so much memories in there. i was just going thru some old blog posts and i really wanted to re-read some text messages from zhehui, it seems that we texted in august last year, but i totally forgot what was it about cos in my head we havent been keeping contact like, forever. the things people do and sometimes even the things going in there minds become pretty transparent after you've known them for a while, and yeah, to that someone who didnt show any guilt at all, we can see right through your thoughts, and you are actually way shallower than you think you are. what is done is done, when you think nothing can ever go wrong when you're helping a friend in need, remember that you will ALWAYS lose something when you help people. helping people is of self-interest, it always has been. but in my case, obviously my helping hand had been taken for granted and taken advantage of. lesson learnt, sad but nothing can be done.

watching "bump off lover", this really old taiwanese idol drama made in 2005. its the kind that doesnt involve too much lovey dovey scenes, a whole lot of suspense and mystery, and a little gore. they dont make much of these anymore. MIT and Gloomy Salad Days!

i am with peace with myself. and learning to be with the big environment.

我期待关于芝加哥的一切.

contacted sarah, another malaysia archie at IIT whose contact details my mom forced korkor to get for me, and she said there are 4 malaysians there now, that means i'll be the fifth! sounds really exciting, im starting to like IIT already. and for chicago, i remember chicago in winter, memories from 2009 are still fresh and am totally looking forward to see chicago in all seasons! i know i picked the right school.

claracmusic.

clara chung is my newest youtube favorite. ;)

click!