alone.

alone in a crowded study room, the feeling of alone-ness in a room full of people, is indescribable.

oh, bert is here. k not so lonely dy but still emo because i fucking failed my calculus test one. i dont know what to do. i worked so hard. ;(

mooncake festival street jamboree thingy tonight. just over. it was fine, feels like inti.

i want new earphones, very expensive kind. i can tolerate rm200 for good ear phones for amazing sounds.

my cheap 20 bucks carrefour earphones died. so im using eexuen's even cheaper pasar malam ear phones that produce horrible sounds that is ruining wang leehom's sexy voice.

damn i wish i was rich.

scared like shit.

i found some lyrics i wrote in 06.. fucking funny! but i have no clue how the song sounded. haha, and im no writer nor a composer so.. im a performer? HAHAHAHA naahh.

anyways i am so freaking stressed out. for the first time in my life, studying for long hours hasn't paid off. i dunno what to do. i am super freaked out for tmr's cal2 test.

k im out.

very scared.

maybe i should stop swearing so much. hm

girl.

uh, so,

theres this girl whom i was pretty sure i've met in inti before, she added me on fb, so i was trying so hard to remember who she was, and i settled with " she was the girl who told me she liked me on independence day " (long story short, there was a girl that kept telling me she liked me alot when i was busy with the event, but i cant remember her face.. )

just now, xt told me that that girl was this girl that was somebody's ex girlfriend and all the funny shit about them.

so now im confused if that girl whos that somebody's exgf and the girl who told me she liked me on independence day is the same girl.

hm.

clothes?

i had the weirdest dream last night.

this was how it went (or how i remembered it) lol:

i discovered the top floor of my block, it was this big flat rooftop with lots of laundry equipments, the lines and the pegs and the clothes hangers. and the thing is, the place had the maximum blast of sunshine! (inside joke for inti residents: our usual clothes hanging spot doesnt get sunshine at all so out clothes would sometimes our clothes will smell funny) and i remember i was feeling damn angry in my dream, because my new roommate discovered the place before i did, and she have used up all the clothes hanger there was! and she hung up all these hideous maxis that seemed to be bath robes i think, lol i dont know its very blurry now lol. and she was grinning so widely cos she has proven my facts wrong, i told her earlier (in real life) that the only place to dry our laundry it that tiny place with so minimum hanging lines and no sunshine.

HAHAHA

i dont know but i woke up ffeeling damnn angry.

oh well.

the new roommie did it again!

i told her that by plugging in the cable internet will go faster. so she tried with the cable that was lying around, that the ex rooommate left, and she couldnt get on the net. so ii told her she should try to off the wifi. she doubted what i said, called up a friend and had the friend prove it wrong lol. =.= i was only tryna help, big bitch. argh.

new roomie. not happy.

i think i hate my new roommate for a few reasons :

1. she smiles to me every single time she sees me. freaky.
2. she says she cant stay under the fan, but she can try to bear with "1 or 2 degrees", im so fucking lucky i have a table fan or else i might have died hours ago.
3. she lectured me on "why should people sleep with the lights off" and she said that it was about the magnetic field of the earth. BULLSHIT, its personal preferences, and besides, i was only tryna ask her if she sleeps with the lights off, because i cant stand people who sleep with the lights on. MAGNETIC FIELD lol srsly? she thinks im an idiot, good thing i feel the same about her too.
4. her side is so damn tidy, and she have so little stuff.
5. she has an alarm clock! omg omg omg omgg so damn old school!
6. shes skipping ole for no obvious reasons, i keep telling her to go, but shes damn reluctant. FINE, ROT IN THIS ROOM AND YOU WILL HAVE NO FRIENDS AND NO ONE TO EAT DINNER WITH!
7. she woke up at 7 on a saturday morning, and started doing maths problems she found on the internet. LOL? your classes havent even started yet you freakshow.
8. i think shes a vegan. im not sure, but i brought in 3 char siew paos this morning, (my mother's friend tapao-ed for me when she came in to inti to drop off her son, he goes here too) and she stared. maybe it was because she wanted one and i was trying so hard to avoid her cold stares and kept on munching on my char siew paos, haha.
9. she follows whatever i do in the room. i read, so she grabs a book from her bag and reads too.
10. i think she was waiting for me to come back ytd night. she was playing with her fingers in front of her desk when i came back at 1am. hm.

aaiish.

i swear if i ever have a daughter i'll never send her to an all girls school.

seriously.

so many of them i met are very easily offended, dont get jokes, and very damn zhai.

and yet so many of them i know are hip, in trend, and very hiao.

okay i shouldnt have generalized, but still, the chances are still relatively higher by a frickin lot.

oh today wasnt so progressive

i have this fucked up habit.

when a plan is beginning to fall apart, i like to give it a push so that it'll falls apart faster.

i dont know.

i dont have the commitment to hold on.

and even if i regret after,

i pull a face and say i aint feeling no remorse.

today. i am de-motivated.