adam.

went to see ADAM THE MUSICAL in the afternoon. the actors studioi is so damn hard to find weyh. it was my first Malaysian musical! almost forgot that it was already the last show and if i dont catch it now theres no guarantee they'll run the show again, its not some big time broadway musical afterall. it wasn't all that damn good, but it made me cry. the music and lyrics was kinda juvenile, very easy to understand words. maybe they wanted it to be more accessible to the average Malaysians. they call it an uncommon love, not just another boy meet girl story. but i find the storyline very predictable, its every day happenings, especially in Malaysia, i know so many people who converted because of love. and the thingy about aids, i remember watching "gol and gincu"the series on 8tv and the story was exactly like ADAM la. but IT STILL MADE ME CRY. wth man, im very weak at holding back my tears when i comes to all this shit. considering the fact that it made me emo for the following 2-3 hours after the show ended, i will give it a thumbs up.

it made me think alot. questions that i've always been asking for answers but never succeed in finding em and then i just throw em to the back of my mind.

"how does a person know that he/she is the one?"

and.

i realized something dah. the time you spend with someone really affects the way you feel about them. and. and, and. when its there, its gonna be there until you get crushed and be told that you cant have it. well yeah, no one understands what the hell im crapping. in fact im not quite sure i understand too.

it was a good day. meeting up with him and all. we have never hung out before. texted for 3 years but was never ever in each others' daily social circle before. well thats when people realize what they always assume bout people is all wronggg. you thought you knew. but theres so much more to it that was kept away from you. it was awkward, very fucking awkward. i am such a talker. but i get so damn little positive response from him. i keep forcing myself to talk more so that we'd not get caught in some silent moment. lol? i dont think imma do it again?

and i got 2 new flats! rm99 for 2! happyhappyhappyy.

gilbert is back! missed him! (if you're reading, its totally sincere! xD)

oh, im not lesbian.

i thought i was. i wanted to be one too, but i cant be what im not right.

so right now, i'll just settle with being straight but uninterested in boys. HAHAHA.

feeling so damn under accomplished. 47.5% for calculus. i think im gonna cry.

zhehui, zhentao. sorry, my bad. xD

i followed my sepupu's parents back to ktn on thursday. the thing is, my uncle is almost 55 years old and he sings along to hitz.fm. down, break your heart, and that katy perry/timbaland song.. i think he hums to every song that came on. haha.

i was waiting for zhentao, group assignment leader, to send me the questionnaire, cos i forgot to bring mine home from nilai. got abit annoyed because i waited so long, so i decided to ring him up.

"hello zhentao ar, you send the survey sheet ady not?"

"har? er.. yeah a while more! i'll call you later k?"

"okaay."

after 20 minutes, my phone rang, "zhehui calling".. .. ..

zhe hui?! i havent been talking to him for almost a year noww! whats he calling me for?

"hello?"

"heyy! you called me ar? wassup?"

"i called youu? LOOOL. omfg so damn sorry i think i got the wrong person bahaha!"

OMFGGG!

i called zhehui, this nice person i met during my hunan trip in 2008, and crapped for almost 2 minutes and expected zhentao to send me the file afterwards, BAHAHA. funny, cos when i talked to zhehui and thought it was zhentao, a really odd thought appeared, i felt weird cos suddenly zhentao's voice so gentle and nice. zhentao speaks in this really low pitch voice, everything he says sounds serious and solemn one. LOL. and zhehui on the other hand, has this really nice, soothing voice. BAHAHAH. but it was all good, i got the file a while after the phonecall, and me and zhehui texted for a while, after so damn long. gosh now i kinda miss him, and the gang. china this year anyone? xD

just something brief cos im sleepy.

have been procrastinating about the group assignment. finally decided to do it today! finished in 6 hours! FINALLY. but am sleepy.

back in ktn!

movie with mahao today, laughed so badly. a team. felt like a kampung girl afterwards. but it was really that funny, and those who know me know that i have VERYY high standards for jokes and not alot of things i find funny. haha aite. drove around to look for mahao's men's health magazine. epic fail, which was funny. because we actually saw one at out first stop but it was all scrunched up and unpretty already, and it was the last issue on the stand, so we decided to look for it at a several more places, HAHA BUT ALL SOLS OUT lol lol lol. xD sorry dude.

FAT HAO ALERT!

i found the superhotguy's facebook weyhh. he doesnt look that good in photographs, but gosh hes vain alright. but i like! he take pictures of himself half nude. HOW AWESOME is that for us fb stalkers lol. FEELING LUCKYY. gosh his packs! damnnnn.

im actually looking forward to going back to nilai. nilai is great! i love it there. abit culture shock at first la, cos its like all CINA CINA people ny. but i figured that if i really wanted to go to a banana orientated college i would have gone to taylors or sunway, and get LAN-ed by all the rich ass bananas all the time. the thing about cina cina people is that they get along with people so quick. at least the ones i hang around with are very friendly people! ala lets not categorize people la, cina cina people oso got alot cibai one. LOL. damn.

day 2 of midsem break.

note to self:

stop sleeping at 4am and waking up at 1pm. its gonna end up to be a fatal habit. MISSING ANY OF YOUR CALCULUS CLASSES WILL BE FATAL. stop eating uber unhealthy food and super inappropriate times. stop starving yourself just for the midnight mcd ! and burgerss! and taufufa in the middle of the night! thats gonna be fatal too. stop those unrealistic wantings, you're not gonna spend so much on a pair of wayfarers, its impossible you'll be able to survive with the guilt.

k now call mummy to say hi.

triple post!

did i mention something like..

one simple text. happy all dayy?

hahah guess i did mention this before. aah, lifes a bliss!

baby, only if you were mine.

one little thing - the little indian boy

i know i love them no matter what, that is what true friends are for. no judging. because we're all equally screwed up, no one gets to judge whos more fucked up. lesson learned? trust your friends and accept who they are, but be sure they'd do the same for you. and im feling really lucky i have a bunch of people there, always ready to hear me out, never judging, never jumping into conclusions.

anyways i had a really peculiar feeling today. the feeling of being alive. to be able to breathe, and feel. to be able to love. and hate.

i was on a very crowded train. the song playing in my earphones was "colbie cailat - droplets". the first line of the song was "im leaving you, not sure if thats what i should do".. the line got me, i felt like crying, memories can be a big bitch sometimes. and it got to the chorus, a very catchy chorus, right in front of me there was a little indian boy, very chubby very cute, around 3 years old i'd guess, he was so happy, hugging his mommy and smiling and waving to everyone in the carriage. and that got me again. i was so envious of that little boy because hes so easily happy. life seemed so easy for him, although it seemed like it hadnt been too easy for his mommy, she looked exhausted. my guess would be they're from a not-too-wealthy family. but she was so proud of her little boy, because he was so outgoing and he was so smart. and i realize happiness can come so easily, we're just being brats because we have been wanting so much from life, demanding this and that and we're never satisfied with the outcome. if only we'll stop being bitches, if only we'll stop being so damn demeaning. this whole thing can be so simple. being happy can be so simple.

and i got it.

the feeling of simply, being alive, made me happy. and i smiled to myself. and the song ended.

and nothing else mattered too much anymore. oh yeah, and quoting dr. lim, if you're thinking of committing suicide, please make sure you die. i would strongly recommend jumping down from klcc.

klcc adventures.

eeeeeee. i spent so much todayy.

new mascara lashcurler perfume makeupremover bodylotion.

DAMN, YOU'RE SUCH A BIG SPENDER EVE!

supper later. no dinner, just supper!

its official, i have no life.

SUPPOSEDLY if you’ve seen over 70 films, you have no life.

Teen/Romance:

(x) A Cinderella Story

( ) Another Cinderella Story

(x) Step Up

( ) Step Up 2

(x) High School Musical

(x) High School Musical 2

( ) High School Musical 3

(x) Hannah Montana Movie

( ) Enchanted

( ) Sydney White

Total: 7

(x) She’s The Man

( ) Licensed to Wed

( ) The Break-Up

(x) 13 going on 30

(x) 27 Dresses

( ) P.S I Love You

(x) Made of Honor

(x) What Happens in Vegas

(x) Get Smart

() The Princess Bride

Total: 15

(x) Camp Rock

(x) Wild Child

( ) Ella Enchanted

(x) The Princess Diaries

(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

(x) 50 First Dates

(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie

( ) Hotel For Dogs

( ) Just Married

(x) Freaky Friday

Total: 22

(x) The Hot Chick

( ) Sleepover

(x) Confessions Of a Shopaholic

(x) Twilight

( ) Nancy Drew

(x) The Devil Wears Prada

( ) No Reservations

( ) Perfect Man

( ) Australia

(x) Never Been Kissed

Total: 27

Comedy/Humour:

( ) Yes Man

(x) Bedtime Stories

(x) The Pink Panther

( ) The Pink Panther 2

( ) Marley & Me

(x) Cheetah Girls

( ) Cheetah Girls 2

( ) Bratz

(x) Haunted Mansion

( ) Paul Blart Mall Cop

Total: 32

( ) The 40-Year-Old Virgin

(x) Night in the Museum

(x) Night in the Museum 2

( ) Evan Almighty

(x) Bruce Almighty

(x) White Chicks

( ) Neverending Story

( ) Meet the Spartans

(x) Meet the Parents

(x) Meet the Fockers

Total: 38

( ) Scream

( ) Scream 2

( ) Scream 3

( ) Scary Movie

( ) Scary Movie 2

( ) Scary Movie 3

( ) Scary Movie 4

( ) American Pie

( ) American Pie 2

( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 39

Adventures:

(x) Harry Potter 1: The Sorcerer’s Stone

(x) Harry Potter 2: The Secret Chamber

(x) Harry Potter 3: Prisoner of Azkaban

(x) Harry Potter 4: Goblet of Fire

(x) Harry Potter 5: Order of the Phoenix

(x) Harry Potter 6: Half-Blood Prince

(x) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

(x) Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King

(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Total: 50

( ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

(x) Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull

( ) The Mummy

( ) The Mummy 2

( ) The Mummy 3

( ) Journey to the Center of Earth

( ) City of Ember

( ) Finding Neverland

Total: 51

(x) Pirates of the Caribbean

(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest

(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World’s End

(x) X-Men

(x) X-2

(x) X-3

(x) Spider-Man

(x) Spider-Man 2

(x) Spider Man 3

(x) King Kong

Total: 61

( ) Hellboy

( ) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace

( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones

(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith

( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope

( ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back

(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi

( ) Underdog

( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events

(x) Batman: The Dark Knight

Total: 64

Action/Thriller:

(x) The Matrix

( ) The Matrix Reloaded

(x) The Matrix Revolution

( ) Terminator

( ) Terminator 2

( ) Terminator 3

( ) Ocean’s Eleven

( ) Ocean’s Twelve

( ) Ocean’s Thirteen

(x) Casino Royale 007

Total: 67

( ) Bourne Identity

( ) Bourne Supremacy

( )Underworld

( ) Butterfly Effect

(x) Death Note

(x) Death Note 2

(x) Death Note 3: L Change the world

( ) Resident Evil 1

( ) Resident Evil 2

( ) I, Robot

Total: 69

(x) Rush Hour

(x) Rush Hour 2

(x) Rush Hour 3

(x) Mission Impossible 1

(x) Mission Impossible 2

(x) Mission Impossible 3

(x) I Am Legend

( ) Predator I

( ) Predator II

( ) Signs

Total: 76

Horror:

( ) Saw

( ) Saw II

( ) Saw III

( ) Saw IV

( ) Saw V

(x) The Grinch

( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre

( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

(x) The Ring

(x) The Ring 2

Total: 79

( ) Final Destination

( ) Final Destination 2

(x) Final Destination 3

( ) Ghost Ship

( ) From Hell

( ) Child’s Play

(x) Seed of Chucky

(x) Bride of Chucky

(x) Gothika

(x) Nightmare on Elm Street

Total: 84

(x) The Grudge

(x) The Grudge 2

( ) The Haunted Apartment

( ) Siren

(x) Silent Hill

(x) The Mask

( ) Son Of The Mask

( ) Alone

(x) Omen

(x) House Of Wax

Total: 90

(x) The Eye

(x) The Eye 2

(x) Shutter

(x) When a Stranger calls

(x) The Fog

( ) The Orphanage

( ) The Skulls

( ) Cruel Intentions

( ) Cruel Intentions 2

( ) House of 1000 Corpses

Total: 95

Cartoons:

(x) Lilo & Stitch

(x) Ice Age

(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

(x) Madagascar

(x) Madagascar 2

(x) Kung Fu Panda

( ) Bolt

( ) Wall-E

(x) Monsters Inc

(x) Shark Tale

Total: 103

(x) Shrek

(x) Shrek 2

(x) Shrek 3

(x) Finding Nemo

( ) ET

( ) Cars

( ) Ratatouille

(x) Toy Story

(x) Toy Story 2

(x) The Incredibles

Total: 111

Inspirational:

(x) Little Miss Sunshine

( ) I Am Sam

( ) The Day After Tomorrow

( ) Coach Carter

( ) The Last Dance

( ) To Kill A Mockingbird

( ) Conrack

( ) Midnight Sun

( ) Little Black Book

( ) Rwanda Genocide

Total: 112

Classics:

(x) Ten Things I Hate About You

(x) Titanic

(x) Romeo & Juliet

( ) Frankenstein

( ) A Midsummer Night’s Dream

TOTAL:115

MORNING RAMBLESSSSS

note to self:

1. eve, you dont do much in keeping in touch. so please do so, text! xt, mohpin, jeremy, luen, yin, kong and others! you dont wanna miss out on their lives, because you love them! so text them!
2. stop procrastinating. its almost 10.30 dy! you have been thinking to go to the library since 9.30!
3. stop thinking about ktn! stop pitying yourself cos you're in nilai! there are people that dont get to go home at all. afterall you are going back this coming thursday!
4. stopppppp PROCRASTINATING. GO GET CHANGED NOWWW.

its june babeh.

the time is 2.43am. i have a test tmr, i should be sleeping.

i go to his profile. and i am emo. all the things we could have had if i hadnt let go. but i am grateful, still. i am happy now. not regretting, just thinking. because i heard the word so many times in a single conversation today. it is a sensitive word, it really is. never thought it'd end up to be the keyword to all my emo-ness tho. but at least now i know.

smile. life goes on.

A for calculus YES YES YES.

i want my car!

saya ada satu dilemma.

i really didnt expect myself to get into top twelve. everyone is so damn good, and what exactly is evelyn wong good at? judges keep saying i've got a unique voice, and it ends there. i keep forgetting lyrics, i pull a cheeky face and it slips pass the judges' minds. and about bleeding love, i've never really practiced it before. i cant even remember the words well. i didnt bother to warm up before the 2nd audition. i dont know what i've done, but they laughed. and laughed. did i say something funny? no i didnt intend to throw a joke at all. im sometimes annoyed because ppl often tell me this. jjwong i look at you and i feel like laughing. and they expect me to feel flattered ar? srsly what the hell, was that a compliment? the other chick that sang bleeding love totally rocked it. they purposely announced her name last and she nearly cried because she thought she wasnt gonna get in. SHE WAS GONNA CRY. i swear. and i wondered, why are these people taking this whole thing so damn seriously? maybe the problem is with me. i should be more serious with this, i should have thought of all this before i rushed into the 1st audition. there must be a reason why i've walked past the idol booth every single morning and didnt even think i wanna join. there must be a reason i didnt bother to read up the lyrics thoroughly, a reason why i didnt transfer the song into my phone and listen to it every single day. maybe deep down i knew i didnt want this. SO WHY DID I RUSH INTO THIS WHOLE THING? alfred asked me something that made me ponder for quite some time. "whats the prize for the winner?" WHATS THE PRIZE? i dont knowwwww. why didnt i care to find out?

what do i want from this competition?!

the attention? i guess not, i didnt really enjoy the sudden exposure. i didnt like other people telling me that the judges loved my voice. i hate people flattering me. WHY IS THAT? i developed a phobia towards all these comments and opinions that the people around me tak sabar2 wanna tell me about. since the release of spm results. everyone keep telling to chill cos i'll definitely get straight As, and it never happened. i dont like praises anymore. i srsly cant answer that question now. the judges keep telling me they liked my voice, my rythm, my frills. when i know i sucked singing that song, so i start doubting myself and feeling nice at thee same time. and then i go bonkers because of the mix of emotions.

what do i want from this competition?!

3 songs for finals. the moment i heard this coming from the facis, i only wanted to drop out. but then congratulating texts keep coming and im confused. why am i doing this? so that my friends will be proud of me? really? when they say there will be a practice and recording for the theme song, i only wanted to drop out and go back to kuantan and eat cendol. but then i thought it'd be cool to be around music people and sing with them, it'd be a great experience, but then i look around and i see all their lanci faces. DAMN. and then i thought i've never been in a recording studio, i've had a recording session with choir back in the good ole days, but never in a real professional studio before, it'd be so damn cool. but that would mean, not getting to go back to kuantan. no jelly ice and teluk chempedak and my red wira. but i can go back anytime, inti idol top 12 doesnt always just knock on the door and invite you along. but i really wanna go home..

what the hell do i want.