eight fears!

day three!

eight fears.

1. unsaid gooodbyes. i would rather someone bid the hardest goodbyes and go through the worst heartbreak than leaving without saying a word. i would rather cry until i am dehydrated than be left behind wondering when,why,where. i want to feel included in the people and things someone's going miss.

2. no earphone. its really painful when i just wanna shut my ears from the sounds from my surroundings, and when i reach for my earphone, SHIT where is it. damnn. its worst than no battery weyh.

3. heart diseases / stroke. i dont want to die that way. seriously. im gonna get healthy. i promise.

4. big spaces. i dont like wide plain spaces. its kinda serious when i was younger, i would dream about being in a wide wide no boundary space and no matter how hard and fast i run the i wont see anything change around me, and i would scream and wake up with sweat all over, and then my mom would rush in and switch on the lights and asked what happened but i just couldnt make up a reasonable sentence, and i would be sobbing like a gay nyancat. but it got better, i still get the dream once in a while, and i am still kinda afraid of wide spaces, but as long as i can see things like trees, cars, buildings around i'd be fine. mild agoraphobia. LOL.

4. anything to happen to my parents. i know its very selfish to say this, but i would rather die before my parents because i know i won't be able to cope if they left.

5. birds. I HATE BIRDS. i hate the entire family of birds. i hate that they have beaks and i hate that they have claws (cooked claws in dimsum is nice!). im really scared of birds. especially, chickens, pigeons, ostriches, flamingos and hornbills. i always thought birds are evil. i got pecked by my aunt's chicken when i was younger, and it was traumatizing. and pigeons with their blood red eyes send chills down my spine! birds terrify me.

6. decomposing matters.

7. flight turbulence / aircrash / emergency landing. everytime my flight goes through some turbulence i'd think of crazy scenarios like a lightning striking a wing of the airplane and the airplane would lose balance and descend with high speed and we would have to evacuate the airplane by jumping into the sea and watch the plane explode.. .. .. think too much, yes i know. when i was in NY with my fam and we were inside the statue of liberty (no dont think dirty please) they suddenly rang the alarm and called for an emergency evacuation, apparently there was a rumor saying that someone planted a bomb in there, so they had to check. its crazy cause if someone really planted a bomb in there he would be godlike because the security is the tightest.. but no, she did not blow up and we did manage to get up.

8. forever alone.