you know i dont use the term bestie so easily like other people right. i know you, and i want you to trust me when i say i do. and i know that you are gonna get really hurt in this thing. i dont know how to talk to you sometimes, but i really do feel that the bunch of people you are hanging around with is a bad influence. you engaging in that bitchy spam bully proves it. i know you promised you wont do it again, but i didnt come to remember you as that shallow person, especially in college. when was the last time you actually did something as bitchy as that, form 4? and the bitchiness all came back after so many years because you were mixing around with the wrong people i assume? i know those people make you feel special/safe/or blar, but you know, and i know that they and us, we have very different philosophies when it comes to friendship. and you know that because you feel the difference yourself. from what i see, most of the time they are trying to take advantage of you, not protecting your feelings and such. i may know very little about your relationships with them. but a gang that starts a gang-bully on one of their members is not a very truthful and loyal gang i would say. if you guys really dont like her that much, you guys could have told her, stop mixing around with her or such. but from what an outsider see is that, you guys are enjoying taking up on her, you guys are enjoying backstabbing her, talking bad about her even in front of her, enjoying isolating her, enjoying seeing her emo.. and again, thats not you, its just what your new friends made you become. we learnt to ignore all this shit in high school, we learnt to be nice to people, even people we dont like, we learnt how to control ourselves from becoming bitches, and most importantly, we learnt the value of friendship, we learnt so much in high school, why are you forgetting the stuff we've been through? and i know that because i know the real you, and genuine you thats nice and friends with everyone.
and him? hes just fucking around with your feelings. and deep down, i believe you know it as well, but you're just avoiding the thought for whatever the reason might be. thats an accusation im gonna make without solid basis, and i know its not right for me to say these things about him, i dont know much about him, but do you? and if you do, what makes you think you do? another accusation im gonna say about him, you're a backup plan. you might feel flattered, that out of the 2 girls you're chosen to become the backup plan, instead of her. but how long do you think he would toy with your heart? until hes bored of it? and then you're gonna get real hurt and waste all your time crying like a mad bitch over him? you keep saying that its not the matter of wanting to get over him or not, its the matter of whether you're capable of it or not. and once upon a time i used to agree to this, but now i dont.
because this whole situation has evolved into a rather simple life equation,
continue = prepare to get hurt
stop forcefully = emo for somewhat a few months, then get your life back on track
i know whats holding you back, you think you have hope, even if you know the possibility is as minimal as 0.1%, you think you still have hope. and i dont wanna deny that miracles sometimes do happen. but as a friend, my heart aches for you, you are 18 going on 19, you are attractive and clever, and you are popular in your circle of people, and you have a plan for your future, and your future is so bright. hes a distraction. have the courage to pull a giant full stop, we are all here for you to fall back on.
and i loveee youu.
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