maybe it didnt hit me that hard, because im going to the states too, in 11 months. but i guess it hit her girl school buds pretty darn hard. i never thought that going away meant goodbye. death means goodbye to me. wherever you are it doesnt matter, because you are alive. shes gonna be on the other side of the world, but planet earth is alot tinier than we thought. we're alot tinier. what are we, a speck so tiny in the universe. when you put the solar system and the galaxy and the universe into consideration, nothing we are feeling now feels "the moment". how do you know that you're living in the NOW dimension? and now many dimensions are there?
and then you realize that you wont be afraid of anything in the world. (rapists burglars murderers, yes, but im not talking about that, its more spiritual) and you wouldnt want anything that you dont need anymore, because what you want will never measure up to what you can afford, and when you are able to afford everything you will lose touch of the feeling of desiring something. and again it comes back to the most basic question, what does life mean?
study hard work hard become rich buy pretty things and then die.
sometimes.
just sometimes.
i dont feel NOW.
i dont feel the moment.
and i lose my head and i forget my priorities and i become fucking lazy because i have this "we're just a tiny speck in the universe" theory.
arghhh.
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